Some Things That Matter. . . Some Things That Don't

Monday, February 25, 2008

No Country For Old Men


I didn't watch the Oscars . . . cause I am not a middle-aged fat woman or a homosexual. But I was stoked to see Cormac McCarthy's No Country win best movie. I saw all the nominees, and while There Will Be Blood was impressive, and Juno was cute, No Country was the best. What a great movie. Javier Bardem won a statue as well, and if that guy didn't scare you, I don't know what to tell you. Really low ratings for the telecast as well . . . The whole 5 hour circle jerk is such a turnoff. Everyone gave the Golden Globes shit for just announcing the winners during the writers' strike, but I thought it was refreshing. I would watch something like that. Get some scantily clad hottie - maybe Tricia Helfer - to stand in front of a blue screen, show some clips, announce the winners. No acceptance speeches, no audience, just slam bam thank you ma'am. That would get some ratings. . . well maybe not.

Obama is a Terrorist


Well, if anything could bring Calliope back to my bed it would be Hillary Fucking Clinton. Since calling Obama a tar baby didn't seem to work in South Carolina, she has shifted her rust belt strategy to calling him a terrorist. Barack Hussein Obama is in Hamas, didn't you know? This picture proves it! Obama went native on a trip to Kenya, and someone got art. It's at Drudge. Hillary is playing it for all it's worth. I keep thinking about her campaign bitching about NBC favoring Obama, claiming FOX treats her better. These tactics are right out of FOX pundit and all around evil motherfucker Karl Rove's playbook. And she's getting support from fellow fascists Rush and Ann Coulter . . . I think she has switched sides. It all makes since now . . . voting for Iraq, all the orgies she organized with top Generals back when she first got elected to the Senate . . . or maybe it's just the last grasp of a dying woman. We can only hope . . .

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Mossad

Have been out of the loop for awhile. Still a bit disgusted with the world. But there is a great interview with Efraim Halevy, who ran Mossad for thirty years, over at Mother Jones.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

King's Gambit Accepted


Dorks the world over rejoice! Ain't It Cool News and Empire are reporting that Taylor Kitsch will be donning the mantle of every nerd's favorite crazy cajun in the upcoming Wolverine movie. I hope he speaks French . . . I was really hoping the initial rumor of Josh Halloway - Sawyer from Lost - would bear fruit, but evidently they wanted to go younger. Still excited as all hell . . . Both sites also reporting that Ryan Reynolds has been tapped to play fellow Weapon X alum Deadpool . . .

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Tequila Sunrise for your Faithful Servant


Pitchers and catchers report to spring training today. It should have been a good day. It really should have been. But I can't remember a day when watching the news and reading the newspaper has been so depressing. I almost got the urge to go shoot something up, but someone beat me to the punch. Thankfully, middle class telegenic white college kids were shot so I am sure they will get a few weeks of eulogies on national television. Lucky that shit didn't happen in the ghetto or at Howard or something, it would have been breaking news exactly nowhere.


But it gets worse. Yes, worse than mass murder. I mean, really, aren't politics much more important than a few dead fratboys? Today John McCain became just another candidate. Maybe he was all along, I was just too stupid too see it. It was unsavory enough to watch him stand next to Romney after all he said, but I guess he did the same for Bush and GWB gushed much more disturbing and personal rhetoric. Then, he backpedals on the one issue I thought he, of all fucking people, never would. Torture and Guantanamo. Yes, now evidently he has softened his stance to "contrast" with Obama. I don't know what to say. What would McCain say? Fuck that guy. Vote for Obama, I guess. I quit.


And how bout some Orwell? Our fearless leader wants to protect us from terrorism above all else, right? He and his allies in congress have told us on many occasions that holding up FISA would endanger American lives. What could be more important than that? Why, protecting the telecommunications companies who bowed to pressure from the administration to invade our privacy, that's who. Yes, Bush will veto any version of FISA without amnesty for these companies. By the Gods, he may even cancel his trip to Africa. Oh No! By his logic, the phone companies are more important than the lives of Americans. Sucks when that fearmongering comes back to bite ya in the ass, yeah? To stick with a theme, fuck that guy, and any telecommunications company that fell in line.


I quit. Seriously. I, who only wanted to wake up and watch footage of Derek Lowe and Jake Peavy stretching and running around sunny locales, was instead bombarded with a 38 point bulletin of why I should move to Mexico. I was thinking Puerto Escondido. My dream would be to buy a bar there, maybe run a little surf shop. 50 grand would probably do it. Land's gotta be cheap there with everyone who lives there trying so hard to come here. I take donations. I would never turn on the TV unless baseball was on, and I would only read authors who are dead. Escondido would be perfect - it isn't touristy, just surfers and Mexicans. Could spend most of the day surfing, chasing chollitas and drinking cerveza and tequila. Run a little guide service maybe, everything outta the bar. Get old and enjoy every minute of it. Intersted in partnering up, holla at your boy. Fuck America.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The World is FIlled With Pimps and Hoes . . .


The Clinton camp should hire Too $hort, he would be getting much more outta their whores . . . When I was a wee lad, I remember watching Wayne's World on SNL, and they did a joke about Chelsea Clinton's less than stellar looks. The shit hit the fan over the skit - I remember Bubba vehemently blasting into SNL, NBC, and Mike Myers/Dana Carvey, and he had every right to. Some things are off limits, even for the President. However, the calculus changes when the former first daughter is no longer a teenage girl, but a Stanford educated democratic political operative. She has learned how to handle herself - hell, you could even call her nominally attractive. So when Billary sends her to woo a 21 year old male "superdelegate" in Wisconsin, or cold call donors and potential endorsers, pimping is exactly what it is. The righteous indignation hurled at David Shuster from the Billary camp comes off as phony and transparent this time around. And really, who knows whoring better than MSNBC's Hardball gasbag-in-waiting? Being the heir apparent to Chris Matthews . . . I would rather be a whore than a cable news anchor. More integrity.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Globalization and its Discontents

Protectionism is the most transparently stupid political rhetoric you will hear coming from the presidential campaigns this year, but it is difficult to explain quickly and succinctly why to a layperson. Besides being bombarded by anti-business and anti-globalization propoganda every day, the average voter is assailed by protectionist nonsense from both sides of the aisle. The parties are equal in their economic ignorance, they just disagree on what industries they would like to cripple. Two economists at the Fed branch in Dallas have written a informative, lucid summary of one of the many reasons globalization will help poor people more than a hundred unions or farm subsidy conglomerates put together. It was in the NYT this morning, check it out here. Those numbers and graphs in the article should pop into your head every time you hear Huckabee or some other politician ignorant of how the economy works prattle on about how egalitarian the "fair" tax is . . .

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Classic Rock Baby


Well I'll be damned. Go a few days without much activity on the site, and Dr. Hook gets a half dozen comments and a bevy of emails in just a few hours. Maybe I'm writing about the wrong shit. You can't hate on Classic Rock. Hell, I listen to Punk about 80% of the time, but you can always make time for the classics. And since I got a few emails asking bout Dr. Hook and similar stuff, here are the 20 classic rock songs you should go on ITunes and buy right now - at least for an introduction. If you are feeling especially miserly, shoot me an email and I'll send you a zip file with all of 'em, just don't tell no one.

1 - Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue
2 - Neil Young - Southern Man
3 - Led Zeppelin - Ramble On
4 - Bob Marley and the Wailers - Exodus
5 - The Doors - Roadhouse Blues
6 - The Who - Baba O'Riley
7 - David Bowie - Heroes
8 - The Grateful Dead - Friend of the Devil
9 - U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
10 - The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
11 - Van Morrison - Moondance
12 - Motorhead - Ace of Spades
12 - Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run
13 - Alice Cooper - I'm Eighteen
14 - The Beatles - A Day in the Life
15 - Del Shannon - Runaways
16 - The Animals - House of the Rising Sun
17 - Cream - Crossroads
18 - Bob Dylan - Masters of War
19 - Credence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son
20 - The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Love Light

Course I am leaving out some gems. Pretty much couldn't narrow down The Stooges, The Velvet Underground, or David Bowie's Low to one or two songs, but everyone should own all of that as well. And, of course, if you really want to get into great music, The Clash's London Calling and Black Flag's Damaged are the best two hours of music you will be able to find . . .

Superman . . . Deadbeat Dad?

More Youtube fun . . . this is a parody of the Mac/PC commercials for comic book geeks.

Makin' It Natural

They don't make rock bands like they used to. All these new corporate bands party like mormons at a wedding. But Dr. Hook, they make Keith Richards look like Donny Osmond. I got sent this video today, and it is priceless.


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Huckabee Not Dead


Looks like I wasn't off the mark with the last post. The Washington Post thinks Romney is dead, and his right flank was killed by Reverend Slim Fast. The undercurrent of disgust with the adversarial infighting seems to be a recurring theme . . . we will see if Obama can kill the Democratic version of Romney, Billary.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Romney Thinking With His Cock?

So obviously it is still up in the air, but if McCain ends up winning the nomination, it just goes to show you that the IQ level in the Romney camp is lacking that third digit. Why would he go after McCain? Huckabee had all the voters he could co-opt. He insisted on attacking McCain, but Huckabee was the Ralph Nader of the race. Romney would have won if he had gotten his head out of his ass and used his big, CEO brain for just a moment.

Fill Your Hand, You Sunuvabitch!


Yeah, True Grit bitches. Comic books start in a hole when it comes to respect. Stephen King or James Patterson can vomit ridiculous drivel and call it literature, and millions of people will buy it and feel comfort . . . they are readers. They eschew American Idol and Law and Order, instead spending their nights digesting the literary equivalent. But stories are stories, storytellers are brilliant or ignorant independent of their medium. The Wire or The Sopranos have just as much literary cred as anything written by Phillip Roth or Don Delillo. This week Ain't It Cool News announced that DC will be bringing The Preacher to their Absolute collection. The ultra prestige, hardcover and slipcased Absolute line has been used to showcase The Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns, and The Sandman. And while all three of those collections are wonderful examples of how impressive comic books can be, The Preacher is the War and Peace of the medium.


Written by Garth Ennis - an Englishman - and illustrated by Steve Dillon, The Preacher is the pinnacle of highbrow comic book lit. The story of a Texas preacher who is infested by the child of the union between an arcangel and a demon, The Preacher runs the gamut between existential musings on the nature of spirituality and John Ford-esque gunfights and Clint Eastwood aphorisms. I have read through the entire 66 issue run of The Preacher numerous times, and every time I find something new, something important. It is hard to explain, but if you have ever had doubts about the existence of an all-knowing creator, have ever questioned the motives of the hordes of Christianity, then this book will grab you by the neck and won't let go. Vampires, international conspiracies, cowboys, chicks, and gunfights - The Preacher has it all, including none other than John fucking Wayne as a costar - plus, it spawned a douchebag mainstream rip-off, The Da Vinci Code. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Shoot Your TV With a Large Caliber Pistol


I am sure most politically minded readers are glued to the TV today, but if I could impress upon you to turn it off. . . CNN, FOX, and MSNBC have been strutting as of late because of the bump their ratings have gotten due to the . . . monumental nature of the Presidential election. Aristotle said something to the effect of "the only thing worse than ignorance is ignorance feigning intelligence." Cable news is the poster child of this quote. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution had an article here in which they describe the glee these networks are enjoying due to the buzz around Obama, McCain, Romney, and Clinton, and it is nauseating. My favorite quote is from Tom Rosenstiel, a "fellow" at some cable news watchdog think tank: ""There is no blade of grass that isn't chewed over until it's liquified. Every small detail, every new poll, every tarmac stop." I am not sure which blades of grass he is referring to, but I don't think Mitt Romney's church, Hillary Clinton's raging emotions, or Barack Obama's race constitute intelligent and definitive coverage of what exactly we are voting for.



The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are a tough sell to Republicans because they have an obvious idealogical axe to grind. However, the one hypocrisy they are both extremely adept at exposing are the motives behind cable news. I dare you to find any cable news segment detailing the minutae of mandatory health insurance mandates, practical repercussions of protectionist trade rhetoric, or the growing pipeline/oil crisis between Iran and Eastern Europe. Viewers evidently would rather see a Hannity or Olbermann-esque diatribe on Hillary's plunging necklines or Romney's underwear preference. And the networks aren't wrong - they are privy to polls and ratings numbers that we aren't. As Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are always telling us, money is at the root of this coverage. We watch it, we are enamored by it. The only way it will ever change is if we turn off the TV.



And we should. The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal are consistently being attacked for idealogical bias, but I read them because I know that the best left leaning journalists are working for the NYT, and the best right leaning journalists are working for the WSJ. I know where they are coming from. It is much harder to determine what corporate interests are being served on cable news.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Tomas de Torquemada is Running the Justice Department


We have had an impressively disturbing chain of AGs since the Bush Empire has been running things. John Ashcroft belongs to a church that prohibits dancing and favored rifling through libraries to root out seditious bookworms. But just when you thought it was safe to hate that guy, Alberto Gonzales comes along and makes him look like Robert Fucking Kennedy. Gonzales, the .22 caliber mind in a .357 magnum world, ran the Justice Department like Goebbles without the armbands and black leather. But Michael B. Mukasey, the latest incarnation of Bush's Judge Dredd, may take the cake. In a letter he wrote this week to the Senate Judicial Commitee, Mukasey claimed that while he certainly thought waterboarding would be torture if done to him, that didn't necessarily mean it was always torture.

The Spanish Inquisition provides us with the first documented use of waterboarding. Both the Kempeitai and the Gestapo used it in World War II, and we prosecuted them for war crimes citing waterboarding specifically. It's easy to buy into the whole "the world has changed since 9/11" rhetoric, but it's bullshit. It would be hard to find an American that couldn't list a litany of nefarious acts commited by the Gestapo that would make Al Qaeda look like the Peace Corps. At the Rape of Nanking in '37 Japanese soldiers tossed babies into the air and impaled them with bayonets, and the aforementioned Kempeitai engaged in everything from forced prostitution to biological weapon testing and medical experimentation on political dissidents. The kind of evil practised in certain quarters of Islam these days is nothing new.

What is new is our willingness to sacrifice our values to fight it. Sure, you can find incidents throughout our history showcasing lapses of morality on our part, but I don't know if has ever been institutionalized to the extent we see it today. Mitt Romney has actually refused to condemn torture, and he is using that disgusting bravado to bolster his foreign policy credentials. Mukasey has refused to label waterboarding as illegal torture. In his testimony, he talked about "shocking the conscience" of the interrogators, that there can be a balance struck between the level of shock an interrogator must endure and the quality of intelligence gained. This is the kind of moral relativism that our country has always found repugnant. It is easy to blame Jack Bauer for the tolerance we have developed, and for most of the bumbling masses maybe it is that easy to buy into the usefulness of torture. But Republicans spend a lot of time and energy crowing about liberals' moral relativism - maybe they should turn that big spotlight of self-righteousness on themselves.

In 1957, during the Algerian War, French journalist Henri Alleg was captured and subjected to waterboarding. Here is what he wrote about it.

The rag was soaked rapidly. Water flowed everywhere: in my mouth, in my nose, all over my face. But for a while I could still breathe in some small gulps of air. I tried, by contracting my throat, to take in as little water as possible and to resist suffocation by keeping air in my lungs for as long as I could. But I couldn't hold on for more than a few moments. I had the impression of drowning, and a terrible agony, that of death itself, took possession of me. In spite of myself, all the muscles of my body struggled uselessly to save me from suffocation. In spite of myself, the fingers of both my hands shook uncontrollably. "That's it! He's going to talk," said a voice.
The water stopped running and they took away the rag. I was able to breathe. In the gloom, I saw the lieutenants and the captain, who, with a cigarette between his lips, was hitting my stomach with his fist to make me throw out the water I had swallowed.

Now we do this.


Friday, February 1, 2008

Abu Laith al-Libi


Video game junkie? Well, there is a future for you as a CIA assassin. You can sit in a bunker in Langley and kill terrorists. I want that job. Check out the Economist's article on the recent Abu Laith al-Libi hit. He is a bit of a jihad matinee idol, at least if you surf the jihad websites, and while the Pentagon is still denying it, word around the campfire was that he was killed by an unmanned CIA drone in Pakistan.